…… "Aya."
…… In this world you live in, there are two truths.
…… "Aya, are you alive?"
…… You will be in pain. Physical pain and emotional pain will shape you, from the day that you are born. It will be the river running under every word you say, and every thought in your head. It will make your decisions for you, and when you finally think you know who you are, it will change you.
…… A quiet breath was drawn. Eyes opened to reveal nothing. "Answer me… please... Aya…."
…… You will die. That is the second truth. You are born with the intuition of mortality, of dying as soon as you take your first breath. All things wander in the direction of the Great Black, but you must ask yourself…
…… "Don't you die without me…."
…… …will you die, having never lived?




…… A girl with curly blue-green hair stepped into the flowershop in the mild summer evening as Aya-chan was ready to close for the night. Aya-chan watched the girl curiously, fascinated by her, because she was lovely and in a way very childish; she held a stuffed rabbit tight in her arms. Aya-chan wandered shyly up to the girl, her hands clasped behind her back, and smiled. "Can I help you?"
…… The girl glanced up suddenly, as though surprised, and stared back with glistening eyes.
…… Aya-chan smiled kindly and patiently tried to make conversation. "Do you like daffodils? They're lovely and bright, like sunshine, don't you think?"
…… "I like dandelions," the girl said sadly, and Aya-chan sucked a startled breath. That voice! It was as sweet and as young as the girl's face, even though it seemed so sad. Aya-chan had a vague, uneasy feeling about her, that she knew the girl even though she had never seen her face.
…… "What's your name?" Aya-chan wanted to know.
…… "My name is Toto." The girl grabbed Aya-chan's hand and began to run, leading her through rows on rows of the shops colorful blossoms. They ducked under hanging baskets brimming with variegated ivies and malamadrias and they pushed through the backdoor into the greenhouse. They stood together inside the glass house, breathing quickly and laughing at each other. Toto smiled at Aya-chan and held her bunny out in her arms. "Do you remember her, Rabbi?" Toto asked the stuffed toy. "Why yes, Toto, that's Aya-chan!"
…… "How do you know me?" Aya-chan asked as she playfully tugged on Rabbi's long ears.
…… "We met you when you were sleeping so pretty," Toto told her, and laughed, spinning away and dancing between bold purple clematis and cup-like calla lilies, which were blooming in yellows, whites and rosy pinks. "Like a princess waiting for a special kiss!"
…… Aya-chan laughed as she watched Toto dance but didn't join her. Their run had left her slightly dizzy. "I know your voice, I remember hearing it. You spoke to me while I was sleeping!"
…… Toto looked solemn and sad again and stepped up close to the flowergirl, examining her face. "Do you know what happened while your were sleeping?" Toto whispered.
…… A small shudder shook Aya-chan's slim shoulders. "I was kidnapped. Ran and his friends rescued me."
…… Toto lowered her face and looked off across the greenhouse floor. It was damp where irrigation water overflowed out of pots and trenches. Blue-green hair bounced off of her shoulders. "I'm all alone now, you know," she sighed, tears in her voice. "I lost Papa, and Neu, and Schoen, and Hell, and…and…." The tears brimmed up in the girl's eyes, and Aya-chan took her shoulders as tears were wiped away on a sleeve.
…… "Oh, Toto, how awful for you!" Aya-chan cried, and tears rushed to her own face with the thought of what she had lost. "You've lost your whole family. My parents… both of them died," she said quietly, blinking moisture out of her eyes. "I'm lucky to still have Ran."
…… Toto glanced up into the innocent young face. "Your brother Ran?" she laughed, with a jilted voice. "Did your brother Ran tell you the whole truth or did he lie?"
…… Aya-chan looked startled.
…… Toto's laughter became shrill. "Did Brother Ran tell a lie? Lie! Lie! Be a sinner all over again!" she sang, dancing back out of Aya-chan's arms.
…… "Stop it, Toto," Aya-chan demanded, hurt and confused.
…… Toto paused in front of a rose bush peppered with beautiful, fragrant buds, and she cupped one in her free hand. She closed her eyes and inhaled its gentle fragrance. "Ran's a murderer, did you know?" Toto sent a sly, sidelong look across soft petals. Aya-chan's face grew hot as she became angry, and she stamped her foot.
…… "Stop saying such hurtful things!" she cried. "My brother's a good, kind person!"
…… "Maybe he was before you fell asleep, but you've been asleep a long, long time," Toto smirked, and spun away with her toy in her arms.



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